When “Mean Girl” Energy Creeps Into the Fitness Industry: Why Leaders - and Instructors - Can’t Afford to Ignore It
The fitness industry is supposed to be about empowerment, energy, and community. We’re here to help people feel stronger - not just in their bodies, but in their lives.
So why does it sometimes feel like behind the scenes, we’re back in high school?
The whispers. The cliques. The stories that spread faster than the truth.
It’s not just “personality differences.” It’s a documented workplace dynamic called relational aggression - gossip, exclusion, and indirect power plays designed to control social dynamics. And it’s more common in fitness than most people realize.
13 Years In, Here’s What I’ve Seen (and Why I Can’t Stop Noticing It)
I’ve been in the wellness field for over 13 years. I’ve worked everywhere: big-box gyms, boutique studios, women-only facilities, high-end health clubs, and luxury wellness centers.
And I can honestly say: I have never encountered a more toxic “mean girl” culture - anywhere - than in parts of the fitness industry.
Not in high school.
Not in college.
Not even in the middle school hallways that taught most of us what exclusion feels like.
Early in my career, it almost made me quit altogether. I loved the work - helping people feel strong and supported - but I found myself constantly sidestepping gossip, rumor mills, and invisible hierarchies that had nothing to do with the job itself.
And I’m not just speaking as a coach and instructor here. I’m a journalist at heart. I’m always observing, noticing, watching stories unfold. This dynamic - grown adults creating narratives, building loyalty through gossip, and forming cliques that can rival any high school lunch table - has fascinated (and frustrated) me for years because it’s everywhere.
And the question I keep asking myself is: Why?
Why This Culture Thrives in Fitness
Scarcity Mindset: Prime class times, client loyalty, and coveted visibility can feel like limited resources. When people perceive scarcity, competition can quickly turn toxic.
Identity and Image Are on the Line: For many instructors, their work is their brand. A dip in bookings, social media engagement, or recognition can feel deeply personal, sparking gossip or exclusion as a way to regain a sense of control.
Loose Structure and Oversight: Many fitness spaces don’t have formal codes of conduct or conflict resolution systems, leaving space for gossip, favoritism, and in-groups to thrive unchecked.
How It Impacts Clients (and Your Bottom Line)
This culture doesn’t just harm staff - it pulls clients into the tension.
Members feel it. They notice when instructors aren’t aligned, when whispers ripple through the studio, when energy feels divided. Some even get swept up - subtly pressured to “choose sides” or avoid certain instructors.
And when that happens, the very community people came for - the thing that keeps clients loyal - starts to fracture. People don’t leave just because of a bad playlist or an inconvenient schedule. They leave because the space no longer feels like the safe, empowering sanctuary they signed up for.
How Leaders Can Shift the Culture
Name It! Relational aggression isn’t just “drama.” It’s a form of workplace bullying. Acknowledging it helps everyone take it seriously.
Communicate Transparently. Clear scheduling, pay, and advancement processes prevent rumor mills from gaining traction.
Set - and Enforce - Standards. Codes of conduct and clear conflict resolution pathways create accountability and shared expectations.
Model the Energy You Want. Leaders who refuse to engage in gossip, celebrate team wins, and promote collaboration set the tone for everyone else.
Support the Humans Behind the Job. Training on communication, emotional intelligence, and team dynamics helps instructors navigate challenges without resorting to exclusion or rumor-spreading.
For Instructors: Protect Your Energy, Protect Your Career
If you’re an instructor or trainer, know this: You deserve to work in a space where gossip, cliques, and “backroom” drama aren’t tolerated.
Pay attention to the culture during interviews and trial periods. Observe how team members treat each other when leadership isn’t watching. Listen for red flags - are there subtle digs about other instructors? Are clients caught in the middle?
If the answer is yes, believe it. Because a studio that allows “mean girl” behavior to thrive will eventually burn out even the most passionate, talented instructors. And your career - and energy - are worth more than that.
Seek out studios where:
Leadership is clear and communicative.
Wins are celebrated across the team.
Gossip is addressed, not excused.
The community feels authentic - for staff and for clients.
Studios that take their culture seriously don’t just keep great talent - they build environments where instructors can truly thrive, where clients feel safe and supported, and where everyone actually wants to show up.
Life is too short (and this work takes too much heart) to settle for anything less. Fitness should be a place where people feel stronger, more confident, and more connected - not somewhere they’re forced to relive the worst parts of high school. The truth? “Mean Girl” energy doesn’t just hurt feelings - it kills careers, drives away clients, and burns out instructors who might have otherwise been incredible assets to a community.
And while gossip, cliques, and defensiveness might feel like “just how the industry is” leaders and instructors alike have a choice:
Lean into feedback instead of dodging it.
Build each other up instead of tearing each other down.
Stop seeing every talented instructor as competition, and start seeing them as inspiration.
Because the studios that rise above the drama? They’re the ones where culture becomes the competitive edge - and everyone, from instructor to client, benefits.
— Ashley Basiri
